Inside Out
by the-otherside-has-snow
Summary: It had been five weeks after Gilbert came home from the other side of the Berlin Wall. No one expected him to be the same as before, not even Ludwig. He knew Gilbert was broken, and he assumed he would be the one to fix him as he did so many times before. But no one could foresee the change that occurred so deep within Gilbert it would change his perspective on his brother complete


**It had been five weeks after Gilbert came home from the other side of the Berlin Wall. No one expected him to be the same as before, not even Ludwig. He knew Gilbert was broken, and he assumed he would be the one to fix him as he did so many times before. But no one could foresee the change that occurred so deep within Gilbert it would change his perspective on his brother completely, to a point where they thought nothing could be the same again.**

**A/N: **The story takes place just after the Berlin Wall has come down. Both Ludwig and Gilbert are nations, but only human names will be used to keep the personal feel of the situations presented. Age isn't an important factor in this story, but by appearances, Ludwig could be 22 or 23, and Gilbert could be around 25 or 26.

Also, song lyrics are in Italics and the order is "Inside out" by Eve 6, "It's been a while" by Staind, and "If you could only see" by Tonic

o.o.o

_I would swallow my pride, I would choke on the rinds, but the lack thereof would leave me empty inside…swallow my doubt, turn it inside out…_

His head swam. Blood rushed through his brain as it lay horizontal on the arm of their couch.

'_Five weeks'_, he thought. _'It's been five weeks, three days, fourteen hours, fifty seven minutes, and 3 seconds…4…_

_5…_

_6…' _

Clunking heels announced the arrival of his brother from the kitchen. Gilbert cranked the volume on his iPod and tried not to make eye contact, choosing to stare at the ornate clock posed on the mantle next to snow globes from Berlin and Paris.

_Find nothing but faith in nothing._

That blonde head of hair in the corner of his eye made him sick against his will, and he pressed his eyes closed. Thin legs were lifted and the old, ratty couch groaned under the bulk of his younger brother's heavy set frame as he sat down. Thin legs were replaced on something warm, and he guessed Ludwig's lap.

His eyes stayed clenched tight.

"Dinner's almost ready" came Ludwig's cool voice.

Something was off. He sounded strained, as if someone were holding a knife to his throat as he spoke. It might as well have been the albino himself. "And after that we can walk the dogs."

The albino grunted, pulling out one ear bud.

"I don't want to."

"You used to love doing that." Then came a resigned sigh, and he could feel a hand rubbing soothingly along a leg draped over his lap.

It was getting really damn annoying.

"Yeah, emphasis on the word _used _to. If you haven't noticed _lämmchen_, I'm not the same as I was before. It's pretty fuckin' obvious."

_Lämmchen._

The word dripped with arsenical hatred for the past, and it seeped deep within the blonde's veins, moving unswervingly towards his heart, intent on rotting him from the core outwards.

Gilbert shoved the ear bud back in and moved his legs so his toes were trapped loosely between the two cushions. His shins forming a wall between him and his brother, and his knees were now being used as an armrest.

"Why are you so different?"

It was a barely audible whisper, but Gilbert learned to read the lips of the officers during his stay on the other side of The Wall.

"I'm not different. I'm the same as I was before. Before you let me go to that fuckin' asswipe of a man."

"I…I didn't let you go, Gilbert, I've told you" Ludwig soothed, but his voice began to crack ever so slightly. "I love you, I don't want to see you like this. You…you look at me like I'm _him_, and I'm not." This time, Gilbert pulled both ear buds out and sat up straight.

"_You are!" _he spat. "You're as bad as that bastard who took me away from you!" For a split second, Ludwig could hear the sincerity, the pain behind his words, but he continued. "Imagine you're me, and you've had _everything _ripped away from you,_ everything _you love, and you never know if you'll see it again.

"You stood there, looking as normal as ever, with your fucking hair and your goddamn uniform all pressed and neat and shit and-" his voice wavered, but went on, as angry as ever, "and you saw me fighting to get back to you, and you did _nothing. _Abso-fuckin'-lutely_ nothing. _Explain why I should feel _anything_ but furious?!"

When Ludwig didn't answer, the albino snorted and settled back into his reclining position.

Ludwig couldn't think. Or he didn't want to. He had been avoiding the truth since Gilbert had been taken away. He was right, though. He had been weak. He stood there as he watched Gilbert fighting tooth and nail to be with him again, watched as a guard kicked him in the kidneys to subdue him, and watched as they dragged him off.

Gilbert's fiery red eyes had never seemed so cold then.

_Wanna put my tender heart in a blender, watch it spin 'round to a beautiful oblivion._

After moments of contemplative silence, or what could have been hours, Gilbert sat up again. The abrupt kiss he pulled Ludwig into was a shadow of the passion he had for him, nothing but tongue and teeth and deep, seething anger he wanted to purge himself of.

And Ludwig let him. He was a container for his brother to let out his emotions into, accepting them willingly as long as he still lived with him. As long as he didn't leave him alone again.

He would let Gilbert do anything he wanted. Let him do anything to him. Let Gilbert steal, cheat, lie, because his heart was caught in the bear trap that was his brother's manipulation.

_Rendezvous then I'm through with you…_

"You _love_ me? You wanna make me _happy_?" Gilbert's breath was hot and almost desperate against his brother's petal soft lips. Both pairs of eyes lidded and clouded with an emotion they hadn't engaged in in decades.

Ludwig nodded eagerly. _Anything_ for his brother.

His devotion would be his undoing.

"You know what to do."

o.o.o

The quietness in the room would have been more bearable if it were raining outside, but the winter temperatures, out of childish spite, had refused to even warm up a little just to let a drop to come down.

They were in the midst of their favorite midnight activity, but with Gilbert's attention elsewhere. Gone were the days when he relished in his brother's moaning and desperate pants and pleas for more.

He got off on the humiliation he caused him.

Got off on the anguish he caused Ludwig at the idea that he was no longer a lover, or even a _friend_, but a body to fuck. Making him feel a fraction of the pain he had felt during their time apart.

The preparation had been anything but. Gilbert had pushed him onto the bed face down and held him there, growling through his teeth to _"shut up and take it". _Even after he pushed his cock through his tight hole, setting a brutal pace immediately, the blonde made no sound. He had to follow his brother's orders to keep him happy

_It's been a while__ s__ince I've gone and__fuck__ed things up__ j__ust like I always do. _

Ludwig loved him.

He loved every facet of his brother, past and all. No matter what he did, or how Gilbert felt about him in return, he couldn't not love him.

'_This is just a phase' _his mind told him, while his body clung desperately to the sheets as Gilbert gave another vehement thrust. _'He just hasn't adjusted well enough-'_

"_Fuck!_" Gilbert gave a hoarse shout, and dug his nails into Ludwig's hips, effectively cutting off his train of thought. His lean body hunched over the broad, tanned back of his little brother. Toned thighs smacking lewdly against more muscular ones. He gave no thought to Ludwig's own pleasure, and instead pounded into the blonde's backside to no end. He had to. It pushed his memories back and recreated them, molding them to a point where he was in power this time.

Ludwig didn't mind the lack of stimulation. He never did. He was glad Gilbert could be this close to him, be comfortable touching him again. It almost felt the same as before.

If he concentrated hard enough, he could just remember the tender way his brother would tuck back his yellow hair behind one ear when it was unconfined and framed his beautiful face.

He could remember how he snuck up behind him and tickled him when he was too groggy to react, because it was Saturday and that was Ludwig's day to cook breakfast.

He could remember how they both argued over who loved the other one more.

That was right before Gilbert left. They had both ended up in tears, collapsed on the living room floor and clutching each other desperately, pressing random, frantic kisses to any free inch of space they could find.

This new Gilbert didn't seem to remember those moments. But he remembered how good it felt to take Ludwig over and over again. Use him; tear him up from the inside out and leave him gasping, shivering naked just as he had those five weeks before.

_It's been a while, but all that shit seems to disappear when I'm with you._

It was obvious to the both of them that the other had changed. But neither of them wanted to know how much, for fear of breaking their calm façade and shattering it into a cold reality where they were both alone once more.

o.o.o

After Gilbert had finished, he retreated to the shower as was routine. Ludwig understood and continued the ritual of cleaning himself up, tidying the room, and promptly falling asleep before Gilbert came back out. Only this time he couldn't sleep. He lay with his eyes closed and breathing calm and steady, waiting for the dip in the mattress. It hitched faintly when he felt a cold hand card through his hair almost lovingly.

"I know you're awake. You should be asleep." He said these words as if he were scolding a small child.

"…I'm sorry."

Silence for a minute, and then "Alright, spill it. Say what you wanna say." The click of a lighter was heard and a faint glow shone through the room, before the odorous tobacco smoke filled the air. Ludwig was surprised. Gilbert never smoked in the house.

"_I love you_, Gilbert. So much, and you don't see it. You don't even _care._"

The albino let out a breathy, fragile laugh.

"You don't love me, you remember me. You remember what you want, and think everything is okay, when it's _not._ And it won't be, not for a long time. So stop trying to make everything right and perfect and deal with it." He tapped the ash onto the carpet and took another drag.

"What if you want things to be right again? Don't you miss how it was?" Ludwig turned onto his back and then his right side, and the hand in his hair didn't cease its movement.

"I never said I didn't want them to be right. I do. You don't even know how much" he murmured, stubbing out the cigarette onto the ashtray on the side table, and turning off the lamp with a flick of nimble fingers. He lay down to face his brother, pressing their foreheads together and closing his eyes in a vain attempt to feel the past once more.

"What changed, Gilbert?" the blonde whispered, pressing his body closer to his brothers, relishing in the rare sense of intimacy. A hand slid up to press against a bare chest. They had gotten rid of wearing their Iron Crosses all the time, and instead opted to watch the black, oily enamel drip into the flames of their log fire, the iron glowing orange. The brands left on their skin mirrored it's twin; over Ludwig's heart and covering a scar on the left side of Gilbert's chest from a war he could scarcely remember.

"This changed. We changed. The world changed."

"_We_ haven't changed, _you_ changed."

"So you've said, multiple times already" Gilbert grumbled, and Ludwig smiled faintly.

"Goodnight, Gilbert."

"Goodnight, _lämmchen_."

o.o.o

_If you could only see the way she loves me, then maybe you would understand… _

The soft music floated through the room from Gilbert iPod dock, and he hummed along. Ludwig had fallen asleep, golden head on Gilbert's chest as he turned another page of _Dorian Gray. _

_Why I feel this way about our love, and what I must do._

"Fuck this fucking book" he grumbled, and tossed it onto the padded rocking chair in the corner of the room. He settled back down under the sheet on the bed and tilted his head in Ludwig's direction. The image of Dorian's mutilated and rotting doppelganger trapped in the canvas burned into his mind. He blinked and it disappeared, replaced with his own image. Blinked again, and it was Ludwig. Ludwig was rotting apart from the inside because of Gilbert.

Gilbert shifted onto his left side and rested his palm gently on Ludwig's cheek, making sure not to wake him, and slowly slid it though his hair. He used to feel love when he did this, but he felt nothing now.

_If you could only see how blue her eyes can be when she says…_

"Why do you have to be so perfect..?"

_When she says she loves me._

"Why do I have to be an asshole…"

Gilbert knew he was a horrible person, and that Ludwig didn't deserve his anger. But there was no other outlet for it. He'd much rather leave and be on his own, figure out his own problems, than let Ludwig suffer by having him in the house, but leaving would make it worse.

There had been a time when his brother had been Gilbert's whole universe, but it shattered when he was sent over the Wall. When he returned, he was a ghost of his former self, loathe to interact with anyone except Gilbird, and even then it took a week for them to become reacquainted.

He hated this feeling, like he was going to burst into flame from the heat of his anger at the world at any moment. But he couldn't stop it. Short of going back to Russia and beating the shit out of Ivan, there was nothing for him to do.

Ludwig stirred gently, subconsciously leaning into Gilbert's warm touch. Gilbert smiled. He could remember the time when he and Ludwig were thick as thieves, never leaving the other's side. But that time was gone, and he could do nothing to bring it back.

But he could try.

For Ludwig.

o.o.o

If one thing was true in this world, it was that when Gilbert put his mind to something, it would happen. If wanted to change for Ludwig, no matter how hard it was, he would do it or so help him...

He wanted to change his hatred for Ludwig into love, into the passion he held for him before the Wall. His plan was to repeat their routine before they separated.

Once a week they would sit down and watch a movie together. Once every two weeks one of them would take the other out on a date. Once a month either of them would reveal a secret kink the other didn't know about, and they would experiment, just to "strengthen our bond" or whatever Ludwig told him. Yeah, _right_. It was an excuse to buy more sex toys, and for them to try out new, and dangerous, positions. Not that the danger was an issue. A twisted ankle while doing the "ballerina" position was hardly cause for concern, but they crossed it off their list anyways.

Sex wasn't high on the list of "things to do with Ludwig so I stop hating him", but taking him out for a date was. Normally Ludwig scheduled them, so calling in and finding out that they had no open spots for tonight was a bit of a shocker.

"Fine, um…is Friday night or Saturday open?" He let out a sigh of relief when the man said he had one open slot for 5 pm this Friday. A bit too early for his taste, but it was either that or next Thursday.

"Thanks, okay the name is Beilschmidt. Two, yes that's correct. Okay, thank you." He hung the phone up on the receiver and leaned on the kitchen countertop.

_Ludwig needs to clean_, he thought. He spied water spots on the fake marble surface that looked to be quite old.

The blonde was too preoccupied with Gilbert's wellbeing to do any cleaning.

With a puff of his chest, Gilbert grabbed a rag from under the counter. Well, he still had two days until the date, so he might as well surprise Ludwig with some cleaning before then. It was only after he scrubbed with a dry towel at the counter that he realized. He didn't know anything about cleaning. Ludwig did all of it.

It was a wonder how the blonde put up with him this whole time. He cleaned, did laundry, cooked half the time, and had a job along with taking care of his brother, and three dogs. He also gave some money to his brother every month to take care of Gilbird.

A pang of guilt struck Gilbert's gut. Even if his opinion on his brother changed, the fact was that he never stopped loving and caring for him. Even when he left, Ludwig expected him to come back, because Gilbert disappearing meant Ludwig's world would crash around him.

Ludwig tried to keep him happy, because an unhappy Gilbert meant he failed in the only thing he promised to do.

Love Gilbert no matter what.

o.o.o

It didn't take long for the date to sneak up on the brothers. Gilbert hadn't told Ludwig, and kept his cold demeanor. It wasn't hard to. He reminded of himself of their departure, and his face stayed stone cold.

"You going anywhere tonight?" he asked when Ludwig picked up the phone.

"I was just going to come home and clean a bit. Chill out and relax since it's Friday night. Why?"

"You should come with me. I'm going to take you somewhere." That piqued Ludwig's interest, and he looked at the phone as if it were possessed.

"Take me where…?" he asked cautiously. His brother was acting strange. He could barely get a conversation going the other day without it going awry and now Gilbert was going to take him out?

Had he found his stash of alcohol and gotten drunk only to prank call him? A moment of silence and then…

"It's a surprise. You're gonna come, and you're gonna like it, _brat_" he said as affectionately as he could. He hoped the meaning translated over the phone. He didn't need Ludwig's confidence to drop lower than it already was.

Ludwig smiled softly and laughed. "You used to call me that all the time. You were so terrible back then" he sighed, "but I forgive you, for everything…"

Gilbert sputtered. "H-hey! I didn't ask for your forgiveness! Take it back!" He smiled, knowing the game they played.

"No! No I'm not taking it back and you can't make me!" Ludwig replied through heavy laughter. A secretary walked by and gave him a look through his open door, and he blushed and turned in his chair. "Fine, I'll go to this secret place with you, as long as you don't blindfold me and lead me into a pond like you did in 1863!" he reproached sternly, but with a hint of mischief in his voice. It was odd, but pleasant trying to get back to the way things were, though he was still confused as to the sudden change in Gilbert's attitude.

"Oh stop whining, you couldn't even drown! And you needed a bath anyways! Do you know how hard it was to clean you when you were that young?!"

"It couldn't be that hard, I was so small!"

"Yeah well you were slippery!" The realization of his sentence hit him and he flushed, Ludwig choking on laughter in the background.

"A-am I going to pick you up or are you coming to get me?" he said as his laughs died down.

"You pick me up but I'm driving. You know I can only drive stick and your fancy ass BMW is the only drivable car in the garage" he chided. He would _love_ to drive it, and it would make him look so cool.

That was another thing he missed while he was behind the Wall; his brother's amazing engineering, able to create the best cars known to man. And he always got the first car off the production line. There were currently half a dozen older cars in a storage lot and a rusting Karmann Ghia in the other garage port next to the BMW. Gilbert would drive that to pick up Ludwig, but the blonde had broken it down to find out what was wrong when it suddenly wouldn't start one morning. He hadn't found the time to put it back together yet.

"Ja, fine. I'll see you toni-"

"_Wait! _You should actually leave at like 4:30, since it might take a while to get there."

Ludwig looked at his watch. "That's cutting it really close, but I'll try. Anything else?"

It was silent for a moment. "Okay, well I'll pick you up later. Goodb-"

"_I love you."_ The words came out rushed and breathless and sincere. Ludwig wasn't sure if he had heard correctly.

"I love you too, Gil…" He choked.

_So fucking much._

The last time he heard those words was almost three decades ago, and the voice uttering them still sounded like the ghost of a brother he received when the Wall fell.

A swell of emotions overcame Ludwig, and quickly tears streamed down his face before he knew it, and he whimpered.

"Hey, you okay?" The albino's voice was quiet and gentle. If he remembered anything from before the Wall, it was how to calm Ludwig down. He received a sniffle in response.

"Shh, shh…I'm here, it'll be okay, ja? Come on, your awesome brother'll fix everything, don't fret…" The tears stilled and dripped down his chin and onto his chest.

"I'm sorry, Gil…"

"No, no it's okay lämmchen, you're fine. Just finish your work and come home. You'll feel better when we go out." He assumed Ludwig nodded, and smiled when he answered.

"I love you, Gilbert."

"I love you too, Lud."

The click of the phone never made him feel so alone.

o.o.o

Dinner had been a pleasant affair. The drive there was chatty, both talking about their day. Ludwig of course had more to talk about. There was nothing interesting about laying around all day waiting for your brother to come home.

When they arrived, Gilbert demanded the blonde put on a blindfold he produced from a pocket.

"You said you weren't going to" he chided, but did as told.

"I said I wasn't going to blindfold you and lead you into a pond, I didn't say anything about leading you into a building." If Gilbert could see his eye roll he would have earned a glare.

"You better walk me in instead of letting me on my own" he said, opening the car door and stepping out into the cold December wind. He heard footsteps, and then a warm hand clasp his own and tug him forward.

"You'll like it, I promise" he heard his brother mutter in his ear, and a shiver totally unrelated to the cold weather ran down his spine.

He followed obediently until he reached a warm threshold and the sound of china and conversation reached him. The sash was untied and taken from his eyes.

The grin Ludwig wore couldn't be any wider. "How did you even get a reservation?!" he whispered in shock, looking around the restaurant eagerly. He was currently in his favorite French restaurant, a secret Gilbert gleaned from Francis when he caught Ludwig in Paris. There was no other comparison to that location, but the next best thing was this restaurant in Munich.

"They had only one space open tonight and I got it just in time. Anything later would be next Thursday." He guided Ludwig to a bench against a wall and they sat.

Ludwig took everything in. "Why'd you do this?" His voice was hushed. Nervous.

"Because…I've been an ass since I came back, especially to you. Well, _only_ to you really, but you don't deserve to be hated by _anyone_, let alone me. For Gott's sake, I'm your _brother_ – _and_ your lover if we can ever get back to that point" his face pinkened, but he continued, "but my point is…I'm trying to get back to what we were, and this is my way of saying I love you and appreciate everything you do, even if I haven't shown it recently…" He finally stopped his confession and looked up. He didn't even notice he looked away.

Ludwig's still face slowly melted into a smile and he leaned over, pressing a tentative kiss to his cheek.

"I told you before that I forgive you, remember? That covers being an ass and not showing your appreciation. Thank you for cleaning the kitchen by the way" he added as an afterthought.

"I didn't even know you noticed" he said bashfully. "I did such a shitty job I probably made it dirtier."

Ludwig chuckled. "It's the thought that counts."

Gently, he took his brother's hand and laced their fingers together. "Your hands have gotten warmer…" he commented, rubbing the back of his brother's hand with his thumb.

"Mm. We never held hands when I first came back. They were cold because of all that damn snow." Ludwig kissed his scarred knuckles. "Actually, maybe a week ago I noticed they started getting warmer. Gilbird can finally tolerate my hands after so long."

"A week ago? That's when you-"

"Yeah. I know."

The thumb's slow movement ceased, and Ludwig leaned his head on Gilbert's shoulder.

After so long, they were okay again.

o.o.o

"Are we okay now?"

"Do you want to be?"

Two quiet voices mingled in the dark corners of a bedroom. They both stared at the ceiling

"Yeah. I do." The younger whispered.

"Then we're okay. It's as simple as that" the elder answered. In reality, it _was_ that simple.

Blue eyes narrowed.

"How is it that easy? Are we really okay or do you just want me to be happy? _Do you still hate me?_" The last sentence was whispered and worried.

The albino smiled softly. "So many questions, lämmchen." A hand threaded through golden hair. "I don't hate you. Not as much as I did, and I'm trying to love you again."

"What do I do?"

"Hm?"

"To make you love me more."

Gilbert frowned at the idea. "You don't have to do anything. I should be telling you to do less and I should pick up the slack, but I know you'd have a heart attack if you couldn't cook or clean or take care of me every day." He sighed. "It'll lessen over time, just be patient with me. I hate hating you." An arm snaked around his waist and held him tight. This time, a swell of emotion overcame him, and he returned the gesture.

Bodies pressed together, breaths mingling, eyes gazed in adoration at their other half.

It was only a matter of time.

Soon, lips connected, trying so hard to be within the other. Their legs tangled under the sheets and their hands roamed bare skin, tracing down spines, earning shivers and nips. Why they had even bothered putting on pajamas they would wonder later.

It had been so long since they had done this properly, but secret spots were forever etched in their memory.

The feeling of being loved after so long was foreign to the pair, so they took their time with each other, contact never ceasing.

How Gilbert had gone so long without Ludwig was beyond him.

The albino's hands slid under Ludwig's sleep shirt and tugged it over his head, before flipping him to his back and trailing hot, wet kisses down his throat, marking him with love bites on the way. Ludwig panted and gripped his head in encouragement.

"Ahhn…G-Gil…" he moaned, face red in embarrassment. Was he really this aroused at his neck being kissed?

It had been years since they had sex properly, not just a quick fuck for Gilbert's own release. He was actively trying to make Ludwig feel good, and so far he was doing a damn good job. Pale hands stripped him of the rest of his clothing, and he lay nude under Gilbert's gaze. It was far from predatory, as it had been before. This time it was reverence.

Hair strewn about his face, Ludwig lay panting and open for him, and only him. "You're so beautiful" he murmured, leaning back down to lock their lips again. Ludwig would have protested, but instead looped his arms around pale shoulders and a leg around a toned waist.

It was a mystery how Gilbert could ever hate his brother. He was perfect in every way. Kind, tolerant, hardworking, utterly and completely _his. _And he would be damned if he let him go again.

Soon, Gilbert was nude as well, paying special attention to all of Ludwig sweet spots. His strong fingers traced down his spine as his other hand caressed his member gently. Kisses peppered his chest and a tongue flicked out to tease his nipples, earning him a whimpering sob. He decided not to be a tease and sucked in earnest, and felt strong hips and a weeping cock come into contact with his pelvis. He groaned. Ludwig was sobbing in pleasure, already close to release.

This was torture.

"Please, Gil…" he moaned, hands grasping the sheets desperately and hips bucking up into cold air. He whined at the lack of touch.

"Shhh…patience is a virtue" he teased, and he received a piercing glare and a smack on the shoulder.

"Just get on with it!" he gasped, almost shaking with need. "I want you to touch me, I want you inside" he panted, leg falling off of Gilbert's waist to spread his thighs lewdly. Gilbert swore he felt blood trickling from his nose.

"Damn, I forgot how desperate you were before I left" he muttered, tapping Ludwig's lips with two fingers and sliding them around his tongue, while his mouth traveled south to suck the skin of his cock.

"N-not my fault, you were just good" Ludwig panted around his fingers, and Gilbert grinned.

"Yeah?" he pulled off of Ludwig's member with a wet pop. "How good?" he asked, pushing the first finger in.

Ludwig moaned and his hips twitched, trying to get the finger deeper. Gilbert held his hips down and traced his hole with his middle finger.

"_Answer the question, West~"_ He couldn't help but resume his older brother duty of teasing, even though he was supposed to be making things up with Ludwig. Maybe this was the natural way of getting back into their routine.

"_So good_, better than anything, just…do something dammit!" he almost shouted, close to tears from sexual frustration. Sex with Gilbert had gone from a rough fuck to making love in a few days. The change was maddening.

Gilbert gazed lovingly at the golden body underneath him, at the flushed face begging for him, and he swooped down to kiss him.

"Your wish is my command, _lämmchen_~" he purred, before thrusting in the two fingers and bearing down on his prostate like mad. The word had changed from an insult, to an endearment, to a dirty name only to be uttered by Gilbert and Gilbert alone. The word only served to turn him on more. Ludwig thrashed underneath him, so close to release it was painful when Gilbert removed his fingers.

Ludwig would have protested, but at that moment, Gilbert had taken his cock, and pushed it past Ludwig's entrance, seating himself deep within his lover. It seemed as if they were trying to become one.

Either they wouldn't speak, or couldn't, but no more words were shared. Instead their bodies did the talking. One came in like a rogue wave and the other reciprocated to the fullest, always giving everything to the other just to have it come back in equal intensity. Their love poured into each other and emptied back out again, a well that was neither too full nor too empty.

Their pace was slow, and tender, but soon picked up speed until the sounds of smacking flesh drowned out their moaning and whispered words of devotion. Pleasure crashed between the both of them and ecstasy ripped itself from their souls once, then twice, both bodies only stopping to breathe before soft touches and caresses began once more, picking up where they left off.

Finally, the night turned into morning and the sun dared not disturb their tranquility, and it snuck behind the trees outside their window.

They were both grateful it was Saturday now, because Ludwig refused to leave Gilbert's side.

o.o.o

"Say it again."

"_I love you."_ A kiss to Ludwig's forehead.

"Again."

"_I love you."_ To his nose.

"Again."

"_I love you."_ His cheek.

"_Again."_

"_I love you." _His chin.

"_Forever."_

"_I love you forever."_ His lips.

"_Me too."_

"_Would you…"_

"_Hm?"_

"_Would you want to marry me? If I asked?"_

"_Of course. Why wouldn't I?"_

"_Just checking…would you marry me tomorrow?"_

"_I would marry you whenever."_

"_I'll never leave you again."_

"_I'll never leave you too."_


End file.
